I am about one month out from the day Michael took his life. Looking back on one month feels like a small victory. I’ll be honest, every part of me wants to wind the clock forward several months, and see what life looks like, in every aspect. I cannot wait until our memories become more bearable, and the waves of pain continue to ease in intensity. I cannot wait to be looking far back at this difficult season. Although it feels counter-intuitive, God continuously reminds me that part of my healing involves pausing, and being present. I have noticed each time I listen to Him and be “still” for a period of time (sometimes just a matter of minutes), He provides me precisely what I need.
God has not been silent throughout this month. He has responded to my requests, providing specific answers in inspiration, his words, and many times, through intentionality with people in my life. I could tell you a few stories of times I have felt more discouraged than hopeful the past few weeks, and soon after, God sends reassurance to me to continue on the path that I am on, and solutions for my discouragement. Every time it happens, it blows my mind, because I could not have planned for His answers.
Obviously, I have been thinking quite a bit about mental health in general, and the dangerous impacts of neglecting this area of life. I think it is true for everyone that often our minds can be our biggest battlefields. It goes without saying that if someone feels physically ill, they will attempt to find out what is wrong, and see a doctor for treatment if need be. Speaking from my perspective here- as a believer in Christ, I would pray about healing when inflicted with any type of illness, but would also take the appropriate action of getting professional help.
Mental illness of any kind is a sickness, just as any other physical ailment. Should we then neglect this area of health? Both to treat, and discuss? If one ignored and failed to treat a broken leg– trauma to the physical– it would result in serious repercussions for their body, affecting other areas than just that leg- some of which may not become undone. The same can be said for any unfortunate trauma suffered in a person’s life. When left untreated, it begins to affect different areas of the mind, and nothing short of decline afterwards. It breaks my heart to think how many of us carry untreated trauma, and suffer because of it.
As a Christian, I believe that in addition to turning to God’s word and spending time with Him directly, he calls us to turn to one another when appropriate to get the help we need. He works through practical resources and relationships, and mental health professionals. If you are struggling, please consider getting help. You can change, and overcome how you are feeling. You have a purpose. There are many ways out, even if it does not feel like it. Reach out to people around you, and reach out to professionals.
Here are some resources to consider, or share:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line: Text “START” to 741-741
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I encourage feedback and discussion, please feel free to share your thoughts with me!