Seasons

What a week it has been! More firsts were conquered this week for me, and they were tough. I have been back at work, and celebrated my birthday. I also ran away to Colorado for a few days, to do some hiking 🙂 As strange as it feels, I am adjusting to a new routine without Michael, and the motivation of coming home to him everyday. There are hard moments daily, and I am learning to be ok with that. I am also learning that hard moments are not hindering my ability to move forward, and that they help the healing process. It heals me to be there for others, to find purpose in everything that I do throughout the day, and to allow others to be there for me :).

One thing I’ve noticed loud and clear lately is my perspective shift- a “reset” in a sense. I have spent time with the Lord praying for healing, and for clarity in the future. He has reminded me over and over of this passage:

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.- Ecclesiates 3:1-8

I have been living in a season of grief, and there have been many, many times to cry. Everything is a season! Our lives come and go in the blink of an eye. I am truly encouraged that this season of grief is exactly that- a season. My season of life with Michael was much shorter than I ever could have imagined. Even during this season I am in, there are still times to laugh, and times to dance. There will be so many more of those times. Realizing how quickly the seasons come and go gives me tremendous hope, and also puts life into perspective. Does knowing this make painful moments go away? Absolutely not. But, holding onto hope and perspective is all I can do- all anyone can do. It certainly does help. Everyone is walking through a different season. If it is a great one, don’t take a moment of it for granted. It is a blessing. If it’s hitting rock bottom, find someone to cry with, and hold onto hope that it will pass. If you feel so stuck in your season that you want to end your life, STOP. Find someone to talk to. Surround yourself with those who will help you put your season into perspective, and lift you up. It can only get better.

Consider reading this article from Mayo Clinic to be aware of those around you that may be considering ending their life:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707

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